Finding out that your partner has cheated on you is a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking experience for anyone. Getting over an affair is an awful process and it’s one that most of us don’t want to repeat again. How can you tell whether you can trust him again or be sure that he’s telling the truth about being faithful to you when he’s already cheated before? Making sense of it all is enough to make your head spin. Here’s how to stop all of the mind games, save yourself from heartache, and figure out if he will cheat again with these signs:
He’s not really sorry.
Some men are genuinely sorry that they cheated, while others are just sorry that they got caught. If your man cheated on you take a look at how badly he felt about it by studying how he acted after getting caught. If he was just as devastated by the affair as you were you can tell that he was truly sorry for the way it ruined your relationship. If he acted like it was just your problem or bounced back to his usual behaviour and personality after just a couple of days then it’s more likely that he isn’t deeply remorseful. If he’s only sorry that he got caught then he’s likely to do it again and just work harder at covering it up the next time.
He doesn’t think it’s wrong.
Not everyone shares the same values. Some men in the USA simply don’t think that cheating is all that bad. You might value monogamy but he might think that it’s his prerogative to sleep around when he feels like it. Even if you’re in a committed relationship, many men believe that they are entitled to fulfilling their sexual needs with other women. This belief can come from their upbringing or can just be their own personal opinion on cheating. You might have been shattered after learning of his affair but if he doesn’t really think it’s a big deal he’s likely to cheat again.
He knows he can get away with it.
The chances of him cheating again are much higher if he knows that he can do it without any serious consequences. If you are quick to forgive him it lets him know that it’s ok for him to cheat because he can get away with it. If he cheated in past relationships without his partner leaving him he might assume that it’s ok for him to do it to you too. Even if you’re prepared to stay with him and plan on forgetting about an affair, he’ll need to really suffer in the doghouse for a long time in order to see that he can’t just cheat without any consequences. You might think that forgiveness is the easiest option but an affair can permanently affect your relationship. Think about some of these ways that cheating changes a relationship to see if you really want to let him off the hook.
The relationship is broken.
Sometimes a relationship is too far gone to fix and that might be why he cheated in the first place. If he doesn’t feel like there’s anything left between the two of you that’s worth saving he’s likely to keep cheating again and again. You might need to face the facts and admit that your relationship is over and stop trying to fix it. If things between you are broken beyond repair it’s probably just time to move on instead of waiting for him to cheat on you again. Read this advice on breaking up with a cheater for tips on how to get over him. Forgetting about a cheater and moving on is a better option in the long run than sticking around and letting him keep getting away with it.